Here is exactly how long it takes to pick Jack up at daycare:
20 minutes: walk home from work
2.5 minutes: get the car out of the garage (carriage doors)
20 minutes: drive up the back roads to the JCC
15 minutes: gather Jack’s stuff, nurse him, talk to the teachers, pack the car
20 minutes: drive back
2.5 minutes: put the car back in the garage
Under ideal conditions, this process takes 1 hour and 20 minutes. I’ve yet to accomplish the task in less than an hour and a half.
3 hours. A day. Of picking up and dropping off.
Here is exactly how long it takes to pump breast milk for Jack:
2.5 minutes: walk to pumping location
2.5 minutes: assemble the milking device
15 minutes: pump
2.5 minutes: disassemble and repack bag
2.5 minutes: walk back to desk
5 minutes wash and dry pump parts
30 minutes on a good day. Twice at work and twice at home. It’s easier to pump at home so let’s say an hour and a half.
1.5 hours. A day. Of pumping milk. Like a cow.
Here is exactly what things need to be cleaned (and sometimes sterilized) every day (managed to trim down my previous list):
4 bottles for Jack:
- 4 glass bottles
- 4 silicone non-slip holders (required by our daycare)
- 4 caps
- 4 discs
- 4 collars
- 4 vents, part A
- 4 vents, part B
2 bottles for me to pump into:
- 2 glass bottles
- 2 caps
2 pump assemblies:
- 2 shields
- 2 size adjusting inserts
- 2 connectors
- 2 silicone inserts
- 2 back caps
Don’t clean, but assemble:
- Power cord
- 4 clipping devices
It takes me about 40 minutes to wash everything and assemble it all for the next day.
Add in another 20 minutes for diapers, wipes, clothes, freezer packs for the milk, and other miscellaneous things that get assembled each morning.
1 hour. A day. Just prepping for the next day.
7:40-8:40, wake up, take a shower, make breakfast and lunch
8:40-9:00, walk to work
12:00-1:00, lunch with colleagues
4:40-5:00, walk home
5:00-6:30, make dinner, take the dogs to the park
7:00-8:00, clean up, do laundry, make lunch for tomorrow
8:00-11:00, mess around on the internet, work some more, Netflix, whatever
6:40-6:50, Jack’s asleep, throw on clothes (forget the shower)
6:50-7:10, cereal for breakfast, pack our lunches, double check daycare stuff
7:10-7:25, nurse Jack, change his diaper, get him dressed and in the car seat
7:40-8:00, Greg leaves with Jack and I walk to work
10:30-1:00, work, eat lunch at my desk
4:00-5:30, pick up Jack from daycare
5:30-6:30, Greg takes dogs to the park, I make dinner one handed
6:30-6:45, Jack in his swing, we scarf down dinner
6:45-7:00, family time
7:00-9:00, clean the house, organize the madness for tomorrow, Greg gives Jack a bath and I put him down to sleep
9:00-9:30, make lunch for tomorrow, pump
9:30-10:30, time for myself + shower
1:00am, wake up with Jack
3:00am, wake up with Jack
5:00am, wake up with Jack
Before/after personal time:
4 hours / 1 hour
Before/after food assemblage time:
1 hour / 3.5 hours
Before/after transit time:
40 minutes / 110 minutes
Estimated family time: 15 minutes. Maybe 30 if one of us is holding Jack while we eat.
Not cool. The real kicker is: I LIKE our daycare! A lot! I don't want a nanny or a different daycare, but now I'm starting to think we need to do something to have more time together. As it is, 9 days into my return to work, the situation feels completely unacceptable. How can I raise a child when I get to see him for an hour, maybe an hour and a half, each day?
Something’s gotta give and I’m not sure what it will be. Perhaps my sanity? 4 day work week (career killer)? Get rid of the things I value so strongly: cloth diapers, glass bottles, breastfeeding, homemade meals? Ditch the dogs? Buy a house next to our daycare? I have no idea. At the moment, there is no solution. But it still feels completely unacceptable.
P.S. I could not communicate to you the immense amount of guilt I feel for having taken 30 minutes out of my day to type this out. Shit, I should be working or pumping. But I am desperate to get this absurdity off of my chest.